Save Your Relationship…Be Selfish!
How putting yourself first can lead to healthier connections.
When we think of healthy relationships, selflessness is often one of the first traits that come to mind.
We’re told to prioritize the needs of our partners, to compromise, and to put the relationship before our desires.
While these traits are important, there is an argument to be made for the benefits of being selfish in your relationships. Counterintuitive as it may seem, putting yourself first can lead to healthier connections in the long run.
Before diving into the benefits of selfishness in relationships, it’s important to clarify what we mean by “selfishness.” In this context, being selfish means prioritizing your own needs and desires, rather than sacrificing them for the sake of your partner.
It does not mean ignoring or neglecting your partner’s needs entirely, but rather finding a healthy balance between your own needs and theirs.
Now, let’s explore some of the ways that being selfish in your relationships can be beneficial.
1. You become more self-aware and confident.
When you prioritize your own needs and desires, you become more aware of who you are as a person and what you want out of life.
This self-awareness can lead to increased confidence and self-esteem, which in turn can make you a more attractive and desirable partner. By valuing yourself and your own needs, you create a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.
2. You avoid resentment and burnout.
When we constantly prioritize our partners’ needs over our own, it’s easy to become resentful or burned out. This can lead to feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and even anger towards our partners.
By being selfish and taking care of your own needs, you can avoid these negative feelings and maintain a healthier relationship dynamic.
3. You set healthy boundaries.
Being selfish in your relationships also means setting healthy boundaries. It means saying “no” when you need to and being clear about your own needs and expectations.
This can be difficult, especially if you’re used to putting your partner’s needs first, but it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries shows your partner that you respect yourself and your own needs, and that you expect the same from them.
4. You attract healthier partners.
When you’re selfish in your relationships, you attract partners who are also confident, self-aware, and independent.
These are the types of people who are more likely to be supportive of your own needs and desires, rather than expecting you to constantly prioritize theirs. By putting yourself first, you attract healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
5. You inspire your partner to be more independent.
When you prioritize your own needs and desires, you inspire your partner to do the same. This can lead to a more equal and balanced relationship dynamic, where both partners can pursue their interests and goals.
By being selfish, you create a space where your partner is encouraged to be more independent and self-sufficient.
It’s important to note that being selfish in your relationships does not mean neglecting your partner’s needs entirely. Healthy relationships require compromise and communication, and it’s essential to find a balance between your own needs and those of your partner.
However, by prioritizing your own needs and desires, you can create a stronger foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
The idea of being selfish in relationships may seem counterintuitive, but it can lead to many benefits.
By prioritizing your own needs and desires, you become more self-aware and confident, avoid resentment and burnout, set healthy boundaries, attract healthier partners, and inspire your partner to be more independent.
So the next time you’re faced with a decision between your own needs and your partner’s, consider the benefits of being selfish and finding a healthy balance.
